I must say that it has been a long afternoon. But while soaking in a hot tub, I did manage to stop crying.
After having coffee with Emma yesterday, I realized I’ve been operating on a false assumption. I’ve thought Emma was open to the idea of Devon’s attention a lot more than she really is, currently.
I talked her into meeting me for lunch today to pick up our discussion. I’m very frustrated. Not sad. Not angry, but frustrated to tears.
Emma’s not uninterested in Devon. She’s just more interested in Merritt.
Thus, my idea to pursue things with him would end up hurting Emma. I could callous myself to her and just push on as planned. I could do that.
But the odds of a romantic relationship working out are not high. Typically, we have to try things with several people before finding a life partner. Google cites numbers like five to ten.
Am I willing to run a friendship over a 20% chance Merritt is the guy for me? There’s also only a 20% chance he’s right for Emma. While we’re doing math, the odds favor Merritt, by the way. There’s a 40% chance one of us is right for him.
Anyway…
Emma got, as she says, worked up at lunch and shed a few tears. She told me about telling him that she didn’t want them forced into a relationship just because they were time sifted. And that she wished she hadn’t.
Well, it was a long day. Emma told me she was just going on the idea that if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be.
My own bathtub tears eventually lead me to the same place. Not to be passive, but to preserve my friendship with Emma.
It feels wrong to say I’m just going to let Merritt decide what happens. But, in a sense, that’s what I’m going to do.
Emma might sit back and do nothing. That’s up to her. I’ll do what I’ve been doing, with a slightly less aggressive approach. Slightly.
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