So, I’m sitting here on the sofa thinking I might have messed things up. I just got off the phone with Merritt.
We got home from work and I said I’d make something to eat. He agreed and went to his place and changed clothes. I got things started—air-fryer chicken, veggies from cans—and he came in.
He helped me cook, we ate, then we sat on this same sofa for a while. Cuddled a little. Talked about today. Talked about tomorrow. Everything was normal. Calm. Relaxed, like always.
Okay… I was still in my work clothes, so I said, “Do you mind if I change into my jammies? Not to be cliche… something more comfortable.”
“Of course not. Go ahead.”
I grabbed what was on top of the drawer. This. You can’t see, but it has matching shorties. Looking back, I should have picked something… not this.
I came back out, and Merritt looked at me and smiled. “Wow. Wasn’t expecting… You look…”
That was when I realized I’d messed up. We cuddled a little while and watched WeatherChannel, but I could tell he was unsure what was happening. I didn’t mean for anything to be happening, honestly.
After a while, he sighed. “Guess I should get going… we have an early day tomorrow…”
Now, we’ve kissed on the mouth some. Not out of control slobbering, but sweet. Tonight, he kissed my forehead as he got up.
“I hope you’re not disappointed… Just… really we have an early day.”
He went home and I got wound up in doubts so I called. “Hey… sorry about the jammies… I went for the quick decision, not the smart one.”
“Oh, it’s fine.”
Awkward pause, then I said, “Merritt, are we okay? Did I mess things up?”
“Hannah, you’ve asked me that more than once before. Makes me think…”
“Think what?”
“I dunno… maybe you want me to say ‘yes’ so you can convince yourself…”
“No…” I said, “it’s not that… I feel like I messed things up tonight.”
“Your lingerie wasn’t a problem. Really… You’re gorgeous…”
“We’re good together,” I said.
“Yes we are.”
“So, we’re okay, then?”
“Yes… I’ll think about how to convince you. Sorry that I… leave you guessing so much…”
I paused, then said, “I’m sorry I doubt you. You’re amazing.”
“So are you.”
When I hung up, I sure didn’t feel amazing.
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