I’m Trying

2024-07-06 “I’m Trying” by Emma

This being in my future is hard. I’m trying, though.

Jenn said I could show you this picture on the iPhone story on account that all my girl bits are covered, but I’m necked ‘cept for this towel. I got to take another hot shower at Merritt’s @merritt_gray house and I’m sleeping in a guest room.

I ain’t never lived as nice as this.

This whole house is cool like an autumn day, but it’s right in the middle of summer. This whole house is just as cool as a September sunset.

I got all shy today with just them shorts and that tank top on, but nobody seemed to care. Not even in that restaurant. I guess this towel covers me more ‘an that shirt did, truth be tol’.

Merritt got me to look at my state ID that was in my wallet that was in my backpack that I didn’t know I had. It’s like my pocketbook and change purse got changed up by the time traveling. Jenn says I have a driver's license to drive a car. 

I says back to her, “I didn’t even know what a car was ‘till Omaha. How can I drive one?”

She says I am allowed to but she an’ Merritt will have t’ teach me.”

I’m trying hard not to cry too much. I have to play along like I understand sometimes an’ just watch what Jenn’s doing. But everything’s really different.

Some of it’s good, I reckon. Black people and white people mixing and getting along. Being a sharecropper in 1880, we was about as poor as any n… black sharecroppers were, and had life about the same, too. But it just wasn’t common to mix. I think this is better.

And I kissed Merritt for buying me that rag doll that reminded me of being a little girl. Right in the store, and on the mouth. Almost on the mouth.

I liked it, and I think he did, too.

Nobody seemed to even notice, and if they did, they didn’t say nothing. 

My granny would roll over in her gave. There I was, near about wearing no clothes out in public and kissing a boy on the mouth. 

I guess there’s some things about this 2024 I’m gonna find nice.

I’m trying real hard to adjust, and I know Jenn and Merritt to adjust, too. I guess we’ll just work it out with each other.