This Is Awkward

 2024-06-28 “This Is Awkward” by Merrit

My name is Merritt Gray. I was born in 1960 and pretty much had a cool life that was more or less normal. Little League… Pop Warner… School. Boy Scouts. In high school, I played second base for the baseball team and was a wide-receiver for the football team. I went to college on what we called, back then the five-year plan. That’s where you cram a 4 year bachelor’s degree into 60 months. (Do the math…) I got a degree in mechanical engineering from University of Georgia, moved to Atlanta, and started looking for a job. Then, things got strange. I had just bought a 1984 Toyota Celica Supra, and I decided to take a little day trip outside Atlanta. I headed north toward the Chattahoochee-Oconee National Forest. I didn’t have a detailed plan, but even if I did, it wouldn’t have mattered. I came around a curve in the road, and before I could do anything, I had driven into some kind of big green, glowing cloud. Then I was totally surrounded by green and yellow lights, flashing and flickering. I slammed on the breaks, and when I got out, nothing was familiar! And when I turned around, my car was different. I had, until that moment, never seen anything like it. So… That was three days ago. Somehow, I skipped ahead 40 years. And crossed North America.

I’m sitting here in a pizza cafe in Vancouver, British Columbia. My 2023 Honda Accord is parked outside. Beside some kind of electric car. When I was 16, my dad gave me a dime for the pay phone, in case I needed to call home, and told me not to spend it, but to keep it in my wallet for an emergency. For some reason, I went to find that dime; it was gone. But, in my pocket… well, anyone but me would know what it is. Apparently, when I made my little trip across the time ways, Steve Jobs and the gang from Apple invented the iPhone. I don’t know what’s happening to me, but this phone had Instagram on it, so I guess, if you want to, you can follow along as I try to figure it all out. Hope to see you soon.